fallen leaves

finding home

2009-10-26T23:41:00.000-07:00

jenna sat on the rusty,creaky park bench..her hands folded on her lap.her thin face bent looking below,long hair falling from the side of face to hang in mid air like a shimmering curtain.her tears falling on her palm.she sat motionless like a statue.only her silent sobs beared witness to her being alive

the park was an abandoned one.nobody came here anymore.it was overgrown,secluded and lonely.but for jenna it held priceless treasures..treasures of her past.

happy times when her mum and dad had been alive.when bruno and she had laughingly chased the birds..her wild hair flying in the wind and bruno's ears flopping comically.there were no birds now.only the eerie silence.she had stopped coming here but now at 35 she was a lonely,widowed woman with no child or family of her ownshe had embraced isolation and it she remembered the park in which she had spent her happiest days.even her first kiss.

it was as if the park was reflecting her own life.it had withered just as she had.she had felt a childish pleasure in crossing the broken fence of the now long closed park.the fire had destroyed the whole neighbourhood..some things could never be rebuilt....

and now as she sat there letting the old memories wash over her she couldn't help but cry.

"why are you crying?" a small voice asked.
startled jenna looked around and a saw a little girl with dirty,stragly blonde hair and cornflower blue eyes looking at her.
jenna relaxed and said "i'm not crying"
"yes you are.look!"and the child touched a finger to her glistening cheek and said "see"
she wiped her tears ,smiled and said "now i'm not crying! see"
"you don't look pretty when you're crying,now you look pretty" the child said shyly
jenna laughed and made the little girl sit beside her noticing how frail her body was and how torn and ragged her clothes were.

"whats your name?"
"amy..whats yours??"
"jenna"jenna said
"i like your name"
jenna laughed and said"what are you doing here amy?"
"i'm waiting for my mumma and papa"
"where are they gone?"jenna asked surprised
"i dunno"
"what do you mean you dunno??"jenna asked shocked
"richy said they've gone to heaven.but they couldn't have..they promised they'll be back"amy frowned
jenna couldn't say anything.then amy asked
"did your mumma papa leave you too?"
"yes"jenna whispered
"did they go to god?"
"yes"she said haltingly
"did they come back??"
"no" she said with a catch in her voice
amy looked at her with her lips trembling and started crying "they will be back i know it"she sobbed
"shh!its allright"
slowly amy's sobs subsided as her eyes closed tired with the agony of truth......
jenna looked at her
amy's eyes were still closed
suddenly her mouth formed the words "mumma"
jennas eyes clouded over..she felt the warmth of the little hand in her hand and she knew she'll never be alone again....

the gift

2009-10-18T10:06:00.000-07:00

Sam..are you listening Sam???
can you hear my heart breaking Sam??
do you feel like the bastard you are??
do you feel like the betrayer you are??
why??WHY?WHY?why the hell did you do this to me???

aliya looked at her hands....blood dripping down her hands falling to the ground in gentle pitter-patter.

she saw him that day on the corner cafe laughing and smiling with lianne...the pain she felt then was nothing compared to what she felt now......

she washed her hands..staring blankly at the clear red fluid churning down the drain..then took a pen and wrote

Sam

born on 26 september,1976....bastard,motherF**ker,SOB.... i love you..I HATE YOU..I HATE YOU..HATE YOU..HATE YOU her hand shook and the pen fell to the floor....

she remembered the day she saw her in his arms...his arms around er..him smiling...wiping her eyes..touching her cheeks

she couldn't believe it..she couldn't
he saw her..
"NO Sam no..please tell me this is not true"she screamed
"aliya..its n..."lianne said before Sam interrupted her
"i'm afraid it is ali....i'm sorry"sam said stone faced

she just ran away sobbing...

she should have seen it coming...he'd been distant with her for sometime...he called her less..they never went out..he was always on the phone with someone else and would never allow her to listen to his conversations..

then she saw him with lianne and she knew why her sam had changed..she always thought lianne was just his best friend...

she had to get out of here...she couldn't stay with him in the same city....
it was time to move on

15 years later....

the doorbell rang and aliya went to answer it..josh was already at the door to recieve the guest..his tiny hands trying to reach the door knob..

"hi ali"a voice said
and aliya stood stunned to see lianne standing at her door smiling
"can i come in"she asked
"umm yeahh sure"
"whose he?/"lianne said pointing to josh
"hes my son..josh"aliya said with a trace of defiance
"so you got married huh?"lianne said
"yeahh..its been 5 years"
she sat down on the couch pressing her legs together flattening her skirt with her palm
"uhh so hows it with you and sam?"aliya asked haltingly
lianne smiled and she said actually ali theres something i need to say to you....

ohh??

sam and i never had anything between us....we were just best friends...other than the fact that i was also his doctor

"his doctor??wha...??"ali trailed away

"you see ali sam was suffering from leukemia..he died 3 months after you went away "
"no..it can't be true" she whispered

" he knew how much you loved him and how you were..you'd just remain with him through it all and you'll never moveon...your misunderstanding was the perfect solution for him..he made me promise not to tell you...but its been a long time ali and my conscience won't rest in peace till i tell you truth....he loved you..he really did and heartbreak was his final gift to you..."

aliy sat there shocked even after lianne had left..feeling the cold winds on her face through the open window...

then she got up and ran up to her room, took out the notebook and the diary and the little box and for the first time in 15 years she saw the photo which had pained her so much...and the words she'd written on the paper that fateful night

Sam

born on 26 september,1976....bastard,motherF**ker,SOB.... i love you....i hate you..I HATE YOU..HATE YOU..HATE YOU

and then she wrote the words my guardian angel on it and wept...

broken wings

2009-10-17T02:23:00.000-07:00

6.30 p.m,monday,

she sat there.just sat there.a pitiful figure of a young girl.in looks she couldn't be more than 16 or 17 but her eyes!they were wiser..much wiser than her years.she didn't pay the slightest attention to the people walking past her.
she just sat huddled right there on the sidewalk staring into nothingness.with just a flimsy tee shirt with the words"The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist" on it and a pair of old torn jeans...she was smiling..she took a deep breath as it to say this is it and got up and walked along whistling

7.30 p.m,tuesday,

david looked at her....
the girl he loved
or what was left of the girl he loved
he knelt down to touch her lips
the policeman pulls him roughly away from the body"hey mister DON'T TOUCH just tell us if you recognize her or not??"
he felt like tackling the man and beating him to death instead he just contended himself by"can u just......her name is sarah OK....yes i do recognise her"
he swallowed the hot scalding tears that threatened to burn his throat and come spilling out
"SARAH who??"the policeman said impatiently
robots..they are like a bunch of robots..
"Sarah Conner,18 worthington street,riverdale"he said quietly
"Right sonny..so now tell us whose her family??any friends??"the older guy asked gently
he thought of victoria conner and dean,vicky and patricia..nooo she hasn't...only i was there for her ...it was me.he silently screamed
"yes..she lives with her mom victoria"david said
he again looked down at her still form
"sarah..ohh sarah..what did you do?"he whispered

6.45p.m,monday,

she remembered the words she had once read in a book
"what is death but the final adventure"
yes this was her final adventure..release finally
she heard her moms voice echoing in her head"you ungrateful bitch..i clothed you,i fed you and you did this"and the noise of the blows that fell on her after that

she heard william logans voice"you think your mom is ever gonna believe ya kid??she doesn't give a shit about ya..you'd be better off with ya mouth shut...maybe you'll even start liking it" and the time he touched her.....

she heard patricia yelling at her"you whore....get the hell outta here davids mine..."

she heard vicky "sarah get a life baby....don't mope around you depress me"

she heard dean"are you kidding me???you think i'd look twice at a girl like you....baby you seriously need to look in the mirror"

and she heard countless other voices....always the same....except david's..

8 p.m,tuesday

the police had sent him home....
he couldn't touch his food that night
his mom knew better than to ask...what was there to ask??it was all over the news...

16 YEAR OLD FOUND DEAD!SUSPECTED SUICIDE

he turned on the T.V.in the room
"we never knew she was sad..i mean we gave her everything we could..she was happy..we loved her..yes we did" victoria said it all shedding her precious tears

william logan stood there by her side..a burly figure of a man..."we all loved her..yes we did..this is a great loss indeed"

david switched the tv off and hurled the remote accross the room where it hit the mirror and shattered the glass...

his mom came running"david!whats wrong??are you ok..??ohh honey!"
he sat there among the broken glass his hands covered by blood..his face streaming with tears he yelled"they all killed her! mom...THEY KILLED HER"

and he lay there sobbing on the ground....

6.50 p.m,monday

david was the only one who was there with her..who knew her inside out..who loved her like no one..only david
he understood her
he felt her heart
he knew her soul

she remembered meeting him the first time 3 months ago at this very time...strange how coincidences happen..

louisa had invited her to her party at vicky's insistence..she'd gone there unwillingly more out of the desire to escape her home..and she'd just sat there on the couch while the other kids drank,danced and looked at her as if she didn't exist

and then he came and sat down by her side...an 18 year old boy with black hair and brown eyes..he just said"i'm david"
he was louisa's cousin
and thats how he came into her life just like that.....

8.30 p.m,tuesday

his mom had bandaged his hand and pt him to bed...he pretended to sleep but he was wide awake..

his mom went away and he got up from his bed and rummaged through his drawer till he found her letter dated 17th august,2009..it had been delivered to him this morning-it was he who had filed her missing report...he hadn't talked to her for a week after their argument..he wanted to kill himself for that..he could save her...oh god how he wished he could save her..

dear david,

i wanted to talk to you.i really did but i didn't have the courage to.you see you know me so well.i was sure if i talked you would know something was not right and you'd do something...but i still wanted to tell you before i went i love you.i love you alot but i don't have the strength left to go on even for your sake anymore..its too difficult.i've tried everything-slitting wrists,coke,weed,alcohol,cigarettes..nothings worked...i guess the pain runs deep..promise me you won't blame yourself for this..it me..i'm the one whose weak..promise me you'll forgive me for this..promise me you won't do something stupid and promise me to be my best friend again in the next lifetime....ill be watching you

love
sarah

"why sarah?oh why the hell did you do this to me? " david sobbed

7p.m,monday

it was time...finally to let go....this was the end
forgive me god for doing this....please don't punish my loved ones for this ok....
i am doing a sin and i know it but i can't stand it anymore....

look after david for me

and she embraced the whispering wind blowing in her ears
falling through the endless sky to the ground below..a smile on her face...she fell at last on the road..a twisted heap.. blood surrounding her..yet the smile remained...

17 august,2020

"congratulations mr morton you have a baby girl"the nurse said to the man sitting on the chair..he looked up then ran to room no 34

the nurse handed the little pink bundle to him..
"oh david isn't she beautiful??what should we name her"the lady on the bed said
"sarahhh..."he whispered....